I've butted heads on several occasions recently with friends who have a somewhat different vision of spirituality than I do. Our discussions have caused me to wrestle with myself and what I really believe. Before I explain though, a disclaimer: the purpose of this blog is not to criticize my friends, but rather to talk about how these disagreements have challenged me and caused me to think more carefully about what I believe. Also, I don't express anything here that I have not (or would not) express in a face-to-face conversation.
These differences I've had with my friends involve the nature and purpose of miracles, spiritual gifts, signs, and wonders. I believe that God is all about the miraculous, and that he uses supernatural means to edify the church body, to display his power, and to express his love. I've heard countless stories. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Miraculous healing. Deliverance. Supernatural wisdom and knowledge. I don't at all dispute that God does this things and that he's wanting to do them more and more. I also believe that he wants us to desire and seek these things.
The problem then, at least as I perceive it, is that it often seems that people who really actively seek these things lose sight of what's ultimately important, i. e. "Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." Love is our highest calling, and as we know from 1 Corinthians 13, spiritual gifts are meaningless with out love. Not that we should altogether forget about the supernatural aspects of our faith, but to me it would seem better to redirect the passion that people have for wanting to see miracles towards loving our neighbor. Perhaps if we did this, miracles would just be a natural outflow or result. Sometimes it seems like people just want to see God do cool little magic tricks just for the wonder of it.
I can see why this might be the case. A supernatural sign is much more tangible than an act of love. A miracle is more readily taken as a confirmation of faith than, say, someone washing another person's feet. I guess an act of subservient, selfless love is more explainable by natural means than a sick person being made suddenly well.
But even as I say such things, I'm wrestling with myself, wondering if there's some other motivation for the way I feel about these things. Miracles were obviously a very important part of Jesus's ministry, and they have been important to the church since the very beginning. Is this all just a lack of faith on my part? Or maybe I'm just clinging to a watered-down, unimposing, safe version of Christianity. Is it possible perhaps that while I claim to be all about the supernatural, I actually don't want to see those kinds of things happen out of fear for what they will bring about. I don't know. I think my motives here are at least somewhat good, but I have to consider the possibilities.
