Anyone who knows me knows I'm all about questioning traditional wisdom. It's not that I believe something is automatically suspect just because it's traditional. But neither do I want to accept it just because it is traditional. In doing such questioning, I often find that a "traditional" view may not be as traditional as it is perceived to be. This is especially true in looking at American traditions, customs, beliefs, etc., as they are relatively young in the scope of human history.
One bit of American wisdom I've thought about recently is the idea that career aspirations are the most important thing to consider when making big life decisions. I'm not arguing that this is definitely not true, but I do wonder if there are other things that are at least equally important, if not more.
In America, our career is our legacy. It defines us. What we do in our careers is what we are known by in life, and it is what we desire to be known by long after we are gone. We invest heavy, sometimes inordinate, amounts of time and energy to advance and cultivate our careers.
Now consider how we do friendships, comparatively. Most of us would not hesitate for a second to leave our friends for a great job opportunity. In fact, if one were to say, "I don't want to leave my friends" as a reason for passing up an opportunity, we would see it as a sign of weakness, or it may even seem juvenile. Only kids value friendships that highly, right?
But I'm wondering, why not value friendships at least equally highly as we do our careers? I've learned over the past few years that just like careers, friendships and community require effort, time, energy, and years of practice to cultivate properly. Why do we find it so easy to abandon all of that, while we find it a terrifying prospect to abandon a career path to start a new one from scratch. If we suddenly have to up and move, well then so be it, but if our business goes bankrupt then it is utter tragedy.
Again, I'm not trying to argue that careers aren't that important, just that we should perhaps be a little more willing to consider other things as well. Maybe something is wrong with the way we do friendship if we see it as such an easy sacrifice to make for our careers. Maybe it's possible to establish our legacy and define ourselves by our friendships and communities, and not just by what we do for a living.
