How to Not Be Triflin'

While there seems to be some confusion, even among experts, about the exact meaning of triflin', it's negative connotation is universally understood. Of all the adjectives in the vast lexicon of English, triflin' would probably be in the top 10 of most people's "I hope no one ever calls me that" list. Lately, I've been trying to make sure I ain't triflin', and so I figured I would pass on some tips to everyone else.

Urban Dictionary gives one definition as follows:

to play with someone in a bad & poor way, like in destiny's child's song "bills, bills, bills":
"You triflin',good for nothing type of brother
Silly me,why haven't I found another
A baller, when times get hard he's the one to help me out
insted of, a scrub like you who don't know what a man's about"

This particular editor made a slight mistake in the definiton--the definition is for the verb form of triflin', while the example from the Destiny's Child song is clearly the adjective form. For our purposes, we should attempt to adapt this definition into a more adjectival one. Before we do that though, it's helpful to look at the dictionary.com definition for a different, but related, word: trifling. As usual, the commonly-used, online dictionary gives a plethora of definitions, but they all share a common sense, and that is of something trivial, meaningless, having little value, minor, etc:

1. of very little importance; trivial; insignificant: a trifling matter.
2. of small value, cost, or amount: a trifling sum.
3. frivolous; shallow; light: trifling conversation.
4. mean; worthless.
–noun
5. idle or frivolous conduct, talk, etc.
6. foolish delay or waste of time.

So, with both the Urban Dictionary and the dictionary.com entries in mind, if I were to take a crack at defining it, it would be as follows:

triflin': adj., applied primarily to persons; having the quality of habitually living for trivial matters, or treating life as a game or a drama; lacking substance in important areas of life (relationships, career, etc.), esp. in such a way as to make one unsuitable for dating.

More clearly stated, someone who is triflin' is pretty much someone who ain't grown. It's someone who is living for games and fun, reveling in lack of responsibility, and reaping destruction by not giving due thought to the consequences of such actions. A triflin' person is a man or a woman who still lives like a boy or a girl.

It may surprise you to learn that in the Holy Bible, the Apostle Paul actually counsels some of his readers to not be so triflin'. He writes, in his 1st letter to the Corinthians (who were a triflin' buncha suckas if there ever was some):

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." (1 Corinthians 13:11)

I don't want to be the "triflin' type of brother" that Destiny's Child sang about. I don't want to live according the "get-what-you-need-at-any-cost" ways of the world, like a child screaming in Wal-Mart till he gets the toy he wants. I don't want my decisions to be based on a need for approval, or a fear of rejection, or a desire to manage my self-image. These are the ways of children and teenagers. I want to live according to the wisdom of God's word, and love for God and neighbor, and the desire to honor and respect others above myself. These are the ways of a real man or woman.

In the words of Paul, let's put triflin' ways behind us.