Thoughts on Quiet Time

I'm sitting at my desk. It's early, barely light outside. The only sounds I hear are the hum of my computer and the music of Bach's Cello Suites (my favorite "quiet time" music) gently gliding from the speakers.

I love this time. I value it. So much so, that I am often torn about exactly how to use it. I race through the possibilities. If I don't make a decision soon, I'll start to become anxious as I feel the time slipping away.

I could just sit in contemplation and prayer; I could read from the Bible; I could read something from my Kindle; I could read some articles from some of my favorite websites; I could watch a free documentary or lecture online; I could do some research on a recent topic of interest; I could blog; all of these are potential candidates to receive a sizable donation from a bank account called My Quiet Time.

Of course, there are some things that are off limits. I won't do anything work-related, and I won't play games or watch TV.

I could solve the dilemma of having to decide what to do by simply planning in advance, which I do from time to time. If I really want to be diligent about finishing a particular book, or writing about something I've been thinking about, or something of that nature, then I might set aside the time for that. However, I have found over the years that it just doesn't work if I try to plan out each and every morning.

I've often wondered why this is so, and for a long time my best theory was that it was just a lack of discipline on my part. While that certainly is a factor, I've also come to realize recently that it just sucks all the fun out of it. I get joy from the simple act of sitting down, knowing the free time I have, and thinking, "Alright, what can I do now?" "What do I get to do now?" rather than "What should I do?" or "What must I do.?"

My theory is that, as long as certain things are off limits, then I'm not just wasting time or lacking discipline. I'm simply doing things in such a way that I know I will best enjoy them. It's the principle of Sabbath, applied to the first hour or two of my weekdays.

I've begun to apply this same logic to my relationship with God. Granted, there are aspects of my relationship with God that are, rightfully so, based in concepts of duty, obligation, discipline, etc. I'm not devaluing those things. But some important questions to ask are: Do I ever have times with God that I just simply enjoy? Can I tame God to the point of relegating him to a few blocks on a weekly schedule sheet?

I love discipline and formality, but personally, I find that if those are the only ways I live out my relationship with God, then my picture of him becomes, at best, some kind of austere taskmaster. At worst, he becomes an impersonal object, just something I do on a semi-regular basis.

Discipline, properly practiced, makes room for spontaneous joy and genuine affection. We are allowed to experience God as a person, and to delight in him as a Friend and Father.