It starts at a fairly young age: we start noticing differences between ourselves and members of the opposite sex. It continues throughout the rest of our lives. Here's one I've noticed recently.
There's a big difference between the way men and women have discussions/arguments/debates. Men appear to be much more aggressive or assertive or blunt or something like that. I'm not exactly sure what it is. I've simply noticed that when I'm arguing something with another man, women often misinterpret the spirit of it. They think we are angry or upset or that something is wrong, when that's usually not the case.
I can explain it in terms of wrestling. Guys wrestle not to hurt each other or because they're mad, but for the sport of it. When we're wrestling, we're not "fighting." In the same way, when we're debating, we're not "arguing," per se, though it may appear that way on the surface. In the end, we're not mad, nor are our feelings hurt.
I'm not exactly sure what women do when they disagree about something, but I know it's fairly different from what guys do. I think this is a major cause of the "gender gap." When a man and a woman disagree with each other, it's harder to come to terms on the content of the disagreement because even the form of the disagreement is so different. In fact, I believe that it is frequently the case that the form is in reality the only disagreement, and prevents the two parties from seeing that they don't actually disagree. Of course, there is often real disagreement, but perhaps not as much as we think. That's just my theory.
Anywho, just some insight for the ladies. When you see us men disagree, just know that we're not "arguing," (in the negative sense of that term), and just let men be men.
What do you think?
6 comments:
You didn't get into the way women argue too much, but it is different than men. I find that women, during an argument, tend to not think things through and let feelings and emotions get into it, worsening the situation. And after the argument, they allow their feelings to continue hiding the real issue, causing there to be a kind of on-going argument (women carry grudges for a long time). Like you said, eventually, it's harder to find what exactly women are arguing about. It is hard to divide this between genders, though, because their are guys who will start an argument for any little thing and there are also women who hold their opinions in just to avoid arguments. You asked what we thought about it, so I posted a shortened version. I think this is a touchy subject, but it's mostly true, and for those [feminists/whatever they would be called] who think I'm wrong will only prove the above statements by trying to argue that they don't argue over small things!
I recently saw a special on the discovery channel. Some doctor compared MRIs of male and female brains - the part of the brain that "controls" aggresion is much smaller on the male brain than the female brain.
If the part of the brain that controls a man's aggression is smaller, doesn't that mean he gets aggresive more easily?
Keep up the serious, thought-provoking blogs, Kenneth!
Exactly my point, molly. It's smaller, so it takes a longer time to irritate - but once it's hit it goes all buck wild before anyone can do anything about it.
Notice there really haven't been many women serial killers - it ain't no accident.
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