Let's Get Real

I'm in the process right now of "taking ownership" of my faith/my religion/my walk with God/however you want to phrase it. Or maybe I should say that I'm letting God take ownership of it. Whatever the case, I'm certain that in the past, neither of us have owned it. You know who has? The preachers, the pastors, the authors, the mentors, the peers--pretty much everyone but God and me.

I'm by no means "rebelling" against the godly people in my life or anyone else. I thank God so much for the people that have reached out to me, befriended me, and discipled me. I'm just realizing that for the past few years, I've been doing a lot of assuming, accepting, believing and not enough questioning, rejecting, and doubting. I've been trying to fit into other people's moulds instead of creating one for myself.

I want to know who God is. Really, who is he? How much of what I think about God has simply been transmitted to me by others? How much have I discovered and known myself, by reading the Bible and really experiencing Him?

I know that God loves me. Or do I? Do I really? I know the that Bible says it's true, and that I've experienced his love, but I also know that this is what I've been taught for the last 6 1/2 years. So what's the real reason that I believe God loves me? Have I truly discovered it for myself? Or have I only accepted what I've been taught?

I've always thought these verses were cheesy:
Jesus loves me, this I know
Because the Bible tells me so.
But they're actually starting to mean something to me now.

When I first heard and read that "God so loved the world," it wasn't very surprising to me. It just seemed like a confirmation of what I had already figured was true. But I'm trying to "un-assume" things like that now. I want to let God teach me his love instead of presuming to have known it already.

~Born of Fire