I was listening to NPR in my car recently. I regrettably wasn't listening very well when the artist and song title were mentioned, but this beautiful, sad song started playing and the very first lyrics were something to the effect of "I've never been one to say I love myself; how can you expect me to love someone else?"There is profound wisdom in those words.
It's tempting to associate self-love with pride or arrogance or just plain cheeseball, New-Age-iness. Talk of loving oneself can conjure up images of Stuart Smalley talking to the mirror: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." In this sentence, the command to love neighbor is predicated on an assumed love for self. You get the sense that if you don't love yourself, you may find it hard to love your neighbor, which is the precise sentiment expressed in the lyrics quoted earlier.
In my experiences, I find this to be true. If I don't love myself, and if I am not aware of and secure in the beauty and gifts endowed to me by my Creator, then other people are necessarily rivals and enemies--points of comparison, rather than other free persons endowed with their own distinct gifts and beauty.
Despite all my faults, which are often quite atrocious, I love myself. I am an expression of God's image. When people ask me why my hair is dark and my beard is red, my response is, "Because God is an artist." I love the mind he's given me. I love the sense of humor he has blessed me with. I love the calm spirit he has bestowed on me. I don't pretend that my glaring faults aren't there. I recognize that I am broken and dysfunctional, and that only his love and grace can restore me. But I also refuse to disparage myself because I know it hurts his heart when I do.
Love yourself. It's okay. He really wants you to.
2 comments:
Reminiscent of CS Lewis, as I recall him.
I can't even count the number of people I've spoken with who keep having trouble with this issue but have never considered that this is what it is. We know so much about ourselves, and we tend to focus on the negative. Then we either move to denial of the negative or despair over the negative, when a healthy way of looking at ourselves would be to just accept ourselves completely and move on.
And oh, how difficult this proves to be.
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