Friends, Part VII

Welcome to Friends, Part VII, (I figured I've done enough of these now to warrant using Roman numerals). The young lady you see on the right (surrounded by all of her adoring admirers, or should I say "holla-ers") is Molly D'Avy, the subject of today's blog.

I remember the first time I met Molly, at a Freshmen Jumpstart, I knew immediately that she was a pretty cool person. First of all, she was a D'Avy, so that always counts for something. But I soon discovered that she was quite the talker, but in the fun way, rather than the annoying way. Over the past few years, Molly's penchant for verbage has led to some very memorable lines, including many almost random outbursts that come seemingly out of nowhere. I'll share two of favorites from Molly's "Random Outbursts" file.

One was when Molly, Kelly, and I were studying at Guillory. Of course you recall from the last blog that Kelly and Molly are sisters, and it's often very funny to watch them interact. They make each other laugh a lot, and you can't help but laugh with them. In this particular instance, they were going back and forth about something (I don't even remember what), then there was a brief silence, until Molly suddenly exlaimed to her sister, "WHY DON'T YOU GO SUCK ON A CHOCOLATE TOOTSIE POP!"

Another good one is from an incident at Cafe XA, where Molly and I are the Dynamic Duo of baristas. Molly was closing up the coffee bar and I was sitting on one of the couches, reading or something. I guess she was sweeping and there was an area of the floor that was wet and it was hard to sweep, or something like that. I could be way off. That's not important though. All I remember is, I'm reading my book, and all of a sudden Molly bursts out with, "Darn . . . cohesive . . . properties of water!" Yeah, that was definitely the first time I had heard anyone curse the bonding tendencies of H20.

Oh, and one more thing you should know about Molly. There's never a moment in her life in which she's not looking good. If you don't believe me, just ask her.

~Ken, Born of Fire

Friends, Part 6

I hope I don't overload anyone by posting 2 blogs in 1 day. I'm just in a blogging mood I guess. Anywho, you are now reading Part 6 of my Friends series. Parts 7 and 8 will soon follow. The subjects of these 3 blogs will be the 3 young ladies you see on your right, known to many as the D'Avy Sisters.

I'll start with Kelly. She is the oldest of the 3, the one of the left in the picture. As I was rummaging through the old memory vault, I found a file labeled "HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!" Ah, yes, that'll be a good one to share. It's one of my favorites.

Kelly and I became good friends primarily by studying together. We discovered that we were among the more studious students in Chi Alpha, so we were great study partners. On many days, we would be studying till after dark, so I would often walk her back to her apartment.

Well, on one particular night, it was already well after dark when we started, and Kelly had the great idea of going to CC's and getting a Mochassippi beforehand. Let's just say that Kelly + late night + caffeine = CRAZY! The funniest thing was when I was walking her home that night, we passed up a random guy that neither of us knew, and as we passed him up, Kelly suddenly turned and blurted out, "HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!" I laughed until we got to her apartment, and then I laughed some more until I got back to my room. That was awesome.

Well, stay tuned to the Blog of Fire. Next will be Friends, Part 7: Molly D'Avy.

~Ken, Born of Fire

I Love This Poem

A while back, I was at a Half-Price Books in Texas, and I bought a book called A Treasury of Christian Poetry. I want to share with you one of my favorite poems that I've read so far in the book. It's by Stewart Henderson.

Pentecost is Every Day

I share and share and share again
sometimes with a new language
which, if you are so open
will take you behind the sky
and award you cartwheels across the sun
I give and give and give again
not restricted by the church calendar nor concocted ritual
for I have no need of anniversaries
for I have always been
I speak and speak and speak again
with the sting of purity
that can only be Me
causing joyous earthquakes in the mourning soul of man
I am and am and am again

Where's God?

Let's play a game. Consider it a literary version of "Where's Waldo?," but this version is called "Where's God?" I'll give you a sequence of events, and you tell me where you see God in these situations:

I realized recently that I completely forgot to fill out a housing application for the Fall semester, and that the only applications being taken for men at the time are for a waiting list.

I go fill out an application to get on the waiting list, and when I go to make the pre-payment, my debit card is declined. This is odd because it's been a full 24 hours since I deposited my paycheck.

At this time, I also find out that the tuition waiver that I thought I had for the summer didn't come. I later find out that it's because I only had 3 hours, and I'm supposed to have 6 to qualify. Whoops. I owe the university some money.

So now, not only are my chances slim of getting into the dorms, but even if a room opens up, it's looking like I won't have the money to do pay for it.

On this same day, only hours later, I find out about a few other alternatives that I may have to staying in the dorms.

So the question is, again, where's God in this whole situation? Is it likely that he's directing all of this, and wants me to live somewhere besides the dorms for some reason? It doesn't seem likely at all that he would cause me to forget to fill out my housing application, but it does seem more than coincidental that all of these things happened like this. Did he cause my debit card to decline?

I'm asking all this because I usually use a lot of caution in saying "God did this" or "God did that." I think Christians say that all too quickly sometimes. Sometimes. Other times, I think God really is working for some specific purpose, and I'm wondering if this is one of those times, or if it is all a simple result of my forgetfulness and ignorance. Any thoughts?

I just got through with a fun evening of grading! Now I just feel like writing as a way of relaxing. Yes, in a very weird way, writing is relaxing for me. The only way I can explain it is that when I get my thoughts on paper, they aren't in my head quite as much.

I kinda wanted to write something thought-provoking again, but I think I'm not mentally capable of that at the moment. So, this blog is going to take a "Random Thoughts" format:

I don't think anyone makes me laugh as much as Jacob. Except maybe for Clint. But it's in two very different ways. Comparing Jacob and Clint is like comparing apples and anything not remotely like apples.

Clint loves Skittles. You should buy him some.

I don't see Amanda J enough anymore since she moved out of the house.

I need a new journal.

People whose recent (though only temporary) departure from Lafayette makes it not quite as enjoyable here as it could be: Stacey, Kelly, Molly, and Alyce.

Civilian losses in Lebanon are very sad, but I can't say that I blame Israel. If it's indeed true that Hezbollah is firing missiles from Lebanese villages, then it's pretty much Hezbollah's fault.

It greatly boosts my self-esteem when Ciji laughs at every little attempt I make to be funny.

What?

The complex narrative elements of a good wrestling match is something few people understand.

Pandora.com is pretty much the most awesome music-related technology since the iPod.

Okay, that's enough for now I guess. It feels good to get those thoughts out of my head and into my blog. Oh, and be on the lookout for more Friends installments. I have so many more I want to do. I like spacing them out though, rather than doing them back to back. And per the request of Molly, I'll try some more thought-provoking posts this week, too. Peace.

Thinking About Arguments

First of all, I would just like to thank Molly for providing a thoughtful and substantial response to the question I posed in my previous post. As for the rest of you: what are you waiting for? Get on the ball!

I have a new observation to make today, which is also about arguments, but not gender this time. Something I've noticed and been thinking about lately is that in my classes and just in general, people seem to be scared to voice their opinions about things, especially important world issues. My professor asked us in class recently why that is, and I couldn't think of an answer at the time. However, now that I've given it more thought, I've come up with a theory.

First of all, I think the question is actually misleading. To say that people are scared to voice their opinion would assume that people even have an opinion in the first place, and I don't think that's a safe assumption to make. It seems like a lot of people are apathetic or confused or ambivalent about many of the issues, and they don't formulate an opinion one way or another. So the question then becomes, instead of why are they scared to voice their opinion, why do they not have an opinion?

I think it's partly due to the failure of our education system, but moreso than that, I think the media gets a big chunk of the blame for this one, mainly in the way argument is presented on talk shows, news shows, etc. If you flip through the channels every now and then, you're bound to see people yelling at each other and really "fighting" with their words. They get emotional and upset, and often even resort to name-calling and insults. Let me ask this: have you ever met someone who talks a lot, and very loudly and assertively, and you rarely say anything to them because you simply don't feel like raising your voice to talk over them. I think this is what a lot of my generation is like. Everyone we see on TV has their snotty, stinky, loud opinion, and they're yelling it at us, and we just don't feel like thinking over the noise, so we turn our backs instead. It's not that we truly don't care what's going on in the world, it's just that the forum in which people express their opinions about those things is like nails on a chalkboard to our ears.

I don't know, what do you think? I'm mainly thinking about this for myself, trying to figure out why I've been so apathetic about politics and global issues for the majority of my life. And I'm not trying to fix all the blame onto something else. I blame myself, too. But I'm thinking that maybe the reason why I struggle to form opinions about such things is partly that I've rarely had a good way to do it modeled to me. Maybe.

~Ken, Born of Fire

An Observation

It starts at a fairly young age: we start noticing differences between ourselves and members of the opposite sex. It continues throughout the rest of our lives. Here's one I've noticed recently.

There's a big difference between the way men and women have discussions/arguments/debates. Men appear to be much more aggressive or assertive or blunt or something like that. I'm not exactly sure what it is. I've simply noticed that when I'm arguing something with another man, women often misinterpret the spirit of it. They think we are angry or upset or that something is wrong, when that's usually not the case.

I can explain it in terms of wrestling. Guys wrestle not to hurt each other or because they're mad, but for the sport of it. When we're wrestling, we're not "fighting." In the same way, when we're debating, we're not "arguing," per se, though it may appear that way on the surface. In the end, we're not mad, nor are our feelings hurt.

I'm not exactly sure what women do when they disagree about something, but I know it's fairly different from what guys do. I think this is a major cause of the "gender gap." When a man and a woman disagree with each other, it's harder to come to terms on the content of the disagreement because even the form of the disagreement is so different. In fact, I believe that it is frequently the case that the form is in reality the only disagreement, and prevents the two parties from seeing that they don't actually disagree. Of course, there is often real disagreement, but perhaps not as much as we think. That's just my theory.

Anywho, just some insight for the ladies. When you see us men disagree, just know that we're not "arguing," (in the negative sense of that term), and just let men be men.

What do you think?

Friends, Part 5 (For Real This Time)

Welcome to the long-delayed return of the Friends series. The person you see in that picture with me is my good friend Kevin Guillory. Yep, Kevin's my token black friend. ; ) Just kidding. I'm looking in the memory vault, and . . . ah yes, here's a good one: a file labeled "Late Night Rants."

Even though Kevin and I were roomates for a year back in 2004-2005, I never got to know him as well as have during this most recent school year. We both went through our fair share of drama, and whenever we needed to just talk to each other about any of it, I would often get a phone call that usually went something like this:

Kevin: "Hey, whatcha doin'?"
Me: "Not much, just readin'."
Kevin: "You about to go to bed?"
Me: "Yeah, but you can come up if you want."
Kevin: "Alright, I'll be there in a minute."

We'd end up talking fairly late, but I never regretted it. He definitely helped me out by lending his ear, and I was always glad to be an ear for him when he needed one.

Kevin graduated this past May and is getting ready to do a Chi Alpha internship at Sam Houston University! If there's one thing I'll miss about Kevin more than anything else, it's definitely "Late Night Rants." I do have a cell phone now though, so I guess we can still have the occassional Rant.

Friends, Part 5

I'm bringing back the Friends series either later today or tomorrow, but first I want to tell y'all a funny story. I went to CC's last night at about 9:30 or something like that, and since it was fairly late, I didn't want any caffeine. But I wanted an iced latte, so I figured I'd just get decaf. When I ordered, I forgot to say decaf and didn't even realize what I had done till the drink was halfway gone. Needless to say, I woke up this morning feeling like I had been working on a really tough math problem in my sleep all night. Don't worry though. Another couple of shots of espresso this morning and I'm doing fine for now. Though I'm expecting that after lunch, I'm pretty much gonna collapse like a Jenga game. What? I said I'm pretty much gonna crash like a meteorite. What? I said I'm pretty much gonna fall like Reggie Miller taking a foul. Later.

~Ken, Born of Fire

Checkin' In

I know I haven't posted anything in a while. The thing is, I've been writing a sermon, and usually, after I've been working on it for a while, I'm not really in the mood to write much more. Anywho, I finished the sermon yesterday, and I'll be presenting it Thursday, so after this week, you should see me start to post more again. I'm planning to do a few more installments of the Friends series, so be on the lookout for that.

~Ken, Born of Fire

What color should my blog be?

I took some of those online quizzes today. One of them said my blog should be green! I guess I made a good choice. Another one said I act like I'm 25 years old, which is pretty close to my actual age (23, 24 in September). Another one guessed that among my brothers and sisters I was born 4th. I was actually 3rd. Close enough I guess. That's pretty cool that a computer program can do something like that.

For the class that I've been taking this summer, I'm currently reading a novel called The Infernal Desire Machines of Doctor Hoffman. It's interesting to say the least. I wouldn't recommend it, primarily because of the vulgarity of it. However, if you really just want to experience the absurdity of reading a single story that contains both vampires and pirates, not to mention circus freaks, automata, phantasms, centaurs, pimps, and African tribesmen, be my guest, but remember that I warned you. And if that's not enough, the book also waxes philosophic on time-space, religion, gender psychology, and reality perception. Like I said, interesting to say the least.

Death Was Yesterday

I breathed in death
yesterday

as I gamboled
right past the area
where I knew
there was a decomposing corpse
of a squirrel.

I had passed it a week earlier.
"Surely they've cleaned it up by now."

Nope.

So I breathed in death
yesterday.

Yesterday
that was
yesterday
I don't intend
to do it again, that was
yesterday.

Today I'll go a different way
because I breathed in death
yesterday
and that was
yesterday
and I don't intend
to do it again today.

Death was
yesterday
and I don't intend
to breathe it in
again today.

Ignorance and No Despair

When I walk through darkness
I yearn for the light of others.

At the same time,
God's hand moves me.

Thus
by these two processes,
these two
phenomena
these two
miracles,

I see unlit signs.
I walk straight
on invisible roads.

Great Way to Spend a Day (In 29 Easy Steps)

For all of my readers that live here in Lafayette, I would like to recommend to you a wonderful way to use a day off. I will take you through the whole process, step-by-step:

1. The day before your day off, make sure you have $1.50 in quarters, (that's 6 of 'em), and pack a book or two that you're reading.
2. When you go to bed that evening, set your alarm for 9:00 AM. (That may seem somewhat early to wake up on a day off, but trust me, it'll be worth it.
3. Go to bed, wake up when your alarm goes off, spend some time with God, eat breakfast, get ready for the day.
4. Plan to arrive at the Taco Bell on Johnston and St. Mary at about 10:15.
5. Wait for the Lafayette City Bus to arrive.
6. Get on the bus, put 3 of your 6 quarters in the designated slot, and find a seat.
7. Enjoy the ride.
8. Find the little string hanging above the window next to your seat.
9. After the bus turns from Johnston onto the street leading to the Acadiana mall, pull the string.
10. The bus will stop between Family Christian Bookstore and Barnes & Noble. Get off the bus.
11. Making sure to look both ways, cross the street and head to Barnes & Noble.
12. Browse.
13. Go to the cafe area and buy your favorite coffee or non-coffee beverage and a desert.
14. Sit down in the cafe and eat your desert.
15. Leave the cafe area, with your drink in hand, and find a comfortable chair in the store.
16. Sit down and read, while drinking your beverage, slowly.
17. After finishing your drink, find a good stopping point in your book and head over to the mall.
18. Enter through the Sears entrance, go through Sears and into the mall, and keep right until you find the food court.
19. Eat lunch at your favorite food court restaurant. (I recommend the Chinese food, Combination 1, Chicken Teriyaki w/ fried rice, and a medium drink. You'll be tempted to get the large b/c it's only an extra .09. Don't. It's too much, especially after the Starbuck's beverage you just consumed earlier.)
20. Browse the mall and do whatever shopping you might like.
21. Head back to Barnes & Noble.
22. Browse some more, read some more, and, if you like, between 2:00 and 3:00, get another beverage.
23. Spend some time just sitting in your chair, relaxing, pondering life, communing w/ God, and drifting off into space/sleep. Write in your journal if you keep one.
24. Keep track of the time. At about 5:30, or no later than 5:35, head back to the Sears entrance of the mall.
25. Stand by the entrance and wait for the bus.
26. Repeat steps 5-8.
27. Wait until you pass up Lewis street, then pull the string.
28. The bus will stop a little bit before St. Mary. Get off the bus.
29. Walk back to your home or your car.

If you need to, feel free to print out this blog. Follow all these steps and I assure you, you won't regret it. You'll be refreshed, relaxed, and ready for your next day.

Proverbs 3:6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6)

I put the word all in bold because that's what I'm focusing on as I reflect on this proverb.

We are to acknowledge him in all we do. I so frequently forget.

What got me thinking about this was Zeke and Lane's wedding Friday night. At the reception everyone was celebrating and dancing and just enjoying each other's company, and I couldn't help but think how much the Lord was being glorified at that time. He must have been rejoicing at the sight of his sons and daughters laughing together and loving each other.

And don't think that the Lord himself was not joining with us in our celebration. I felt his presence there just as much, if not more, than I normally do in church. I believe that he, just as he prompts us to do in his word, rejoices with those who rejoice.

God can be found anywhere, and we deny ourselves so much when we only look for him in church and our prayer closets.

~Ken, Born of Fire

A Man Story

I had only held a shotgun once before in my life, and that was 10 minutes prior, shooting at a piece of cardboard. For that shot, I wasn't holding the gun quite right, and the butt of it kicked me like a mule. I could feel the bruise forming, so I was taking special care this time to press it firmly against my shoulder. I was being told that if I did that, it would feel like a push instead of a punch.

I closed my left eye and lined my sight straight down the length of the barrell.

Safety off.

Finger on trigger.

"Pull!"

A second later and I see it, almost hovering out there. Watching someone else do it, you think you have to react instantly. I felt like I had all the time I needed and more. I took aim, turned a few inches to my left, and the next thing I saw was a fireworks display of shattering orange fragments. And no pain in my shoulder.

Whether I was a natural at shooting skeet or had a simple case of beginner's luck I was content not to discover. I quit with a perfect record. I hope to come out of retirement soon though. Should it be offered, another shot at glory will be hard to refuse.

Screwtape Proverb

Live life for life itself. In living you find life. In living, you find true life. In life, you find true living. Life is life is life is life, and living is life and life is living. Live for life because life will not live. Live for life because life is all. Life is all that one can live for. To have life is to live, and to live is to have life. There is nothing more to say about this.

My Language Spiel

I've been resisting this for a while now, but I finally would like to blog a little spiel about my perspective on language and grammmar.

If I think edible is a ridiculously illogical word because almost every other -able or -ible word just attaches the -able or -ible to the end of the word and I prefer to keep with the simpler system and say eatable because I don't see any good reason in the world that eat should be so special as to warrant it being treated differently than the rest of the words in the English language, then it's quite unfortunate that if I say eatable I'm perceived as being less intelligent than someone who says edible even if they are merely saying what they've been taught to say and did not actually put any thoughtful consideration into their choice of words at all.

These are the conjugations of the English verb "be": am, is, are, was, were. Now, look at their respective contractions:

were + not = weren't
was + not = wasn't
are + not = aren't
is + not = isn't
am + not = ?

It's unfortunate that that question mark is there because ain't would be incredibly useful in filling that gap. Yet, if I use "ain't" I'm considered unintelligent by many who, if asked, wouldn't even be able to tell you why it's bad. It's bad because over a century ago Joe Shmoe Grammarian wrote a book and said it was and everybody believed him. (Fyi, there are certain dialects of English spoken among upper-class British in which "ain't" is a perfectly normal, acceptable word.)

I find it strange that in a country often so proudly referred to as a "melting pot" because of its rich cultural heritage, in a country obsessively enamored with diversity in ethnicity, culture, religion, art, etc., we believe that everyone should speak the same way and have very little choice in how they express themselves and that people with different accents, dialects, and grammars are somehow less intelligent.

I find it strange that in a country where relativism and pluralism have permeated our lives, we think there is only one "correct" way to speak.

When people talk about "freedom of speech," they should actually say "freedom of content of speech" because the form of our speech is certainly anything but free. It is shackled.

And perhaps most unfortunately of all, many are not aware that language is one of the last bastions of discrimination and racism in our country. It is no longer acceptable to judge anyone based on race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc., but it is still very much acceptable to judge someone based on their accent, dialect, grammar, etc. If you associate a southern accent with being dumb or uneducated, no one will condemn you for it. If you associate African-American dialects with ignorance, you certainly won't stir up any controversy.

For most, there's nothing wrong with the fact that the European-Americans have dictated the "right" way to speak to the other ethnic groups. Well, I'm saying that it is wrong. Simply put, people should be able to choose how they speak. I would love to say how people might react if the shoe were on the other foot. What if we woke up tomorrow and everyone had to speak African-American Vernacular, and if you didn't, you were stigmatized as, at best, uneducated, at worst, a thug or a criminal? Hmmm . . .

Again, as simply as I can put it, people should be able to choose how they speak.

~Ken, Born of Fire

Just a second ago,
I saw his shoes,
briefly,
and they stung me.

I saw his tennis shoes,
and how the contours comforted him.
I saw his flip-flops,
and how they convenienced him.
I saw his dress shoes,
and their inconvenience.
I saw his boots,
and how they calloused.

Before I could actually try them on and walk in them,
they were invisible to me again,
but the mere glimpse of them stung me hard.

It hurt so bad.

I feel fine now,
but the scar's still there.

I want more scars like these.
I'm not sure I can bear the pain,
but I'm not sure I can return to numbness.

Friends, Pt. 4

This here's Ryan Bourque, and you are reading Part 4 in my ongoing Friends series.

Oh man, what can I say about Ryan? So many memories, but there is one that would perhaps be most interesting to anyone who has seen Ryan and I interact. Yes, the file labeled "Yo Mama" sticks out right about now.

Zeke D'Avy and I led a small group Bible study in the Conference Center back in 2002-2003. We had three guys who were really faithful in attending every week, and one of them was a Freshman named Ryan Bourque. In the course of that year, I recall the exact moment when I felt Ryan and I had really made a connection for the first time.

One day, Zeke, as he often so kindly does when he notices the mop on my head getting out of control, offered to give me a haircut. I never pass up a free haircut. So there we are in the halls of the CC, when Ryan walks up and starts chatting with us. I don't remember who struck first (though it was probably me), but before you know it, Ryan and I were engaging in a friendly exchange of Yo Mama jokes. Our respective mama's got serioiusly torn down that night. And I remember just laughing and laughing, both at Ryan's jokes and his reactions to my jokes.

From that day on, Ryan and I definitely had a closer friendship that would only continue to grow in the years to come. And now you know a little more about my friendship with Ryan, as well as the awesome bond-building power of Yo Mama jokes.

Ken, Born of Fire